office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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