and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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