Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
