Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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