so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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