I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize