your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
