I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
