dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You smell like a Billy Joel song
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
