that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize