No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm both gender and math confused
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
