You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
If that was your dad, he is hot
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
