By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
