Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize