it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
i need some magic done to my vagina
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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