Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think I am morally bankrupt
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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