I seem to have left my pride at pride
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize