I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
