She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
