so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
