dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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