So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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