i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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