put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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