Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
