I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
