If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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