Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
