she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize