Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
