she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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