you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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