my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Randomize
