Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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