Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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