Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
