i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
