i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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