The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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