he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
