I molested 6 butterflies tonight
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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