When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
