she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
