You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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