No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I am naked and annoyed.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize