dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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