The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
