He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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