so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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