Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
