His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
