Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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