I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
