yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
