4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
