Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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