Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
