google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
