So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
