You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
