It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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