Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
