did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize