Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
