i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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