i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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