im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
