I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
