last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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