It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize